The other day I was having a conversation with one of my wonderful students about ‘’happiness’’ and how it sometimes comes across as an industry. We were saying that ‘’happiness’’ often seems like a marketing strategy and might even lead us to wondering if we are even happy at all?
It seems like we’re being told that if we do this, we’ll be happy, if we try that we’ll be happy, a retreat will change our lives and make us happy, and if we buy this we’ll be delighted.
But what if we already are happy but we don’t realize it? Or we might have forgotten how to name it?
What if we actually don’t need anything at all outside of us to make things ‘’better’’?
What if things are already better but we forget to look at how good they are?
What if we found a way of accepting exactly what we have all around us and realize that what we have is absolutely everything we perfectly need?
Of course, life can get really ‘’lifey’’ and it loves to constantly throw lovely little sparkly spanners in the works. Some situations are completely unfixable or beyond our control which can leave us feeling utterly powerless and ready to burst.
But what if we took it upon ourselves to fully accept the things we can’t change? How much better would that help us cope, I wonder?
How would we feel if we accepted that we’re going to get stuck in traffic whether we try to avoid it or not?
We can’t control this situation, but we can accept it the way it is, and use that stuck-in-traffic time for paying attention to our breath and our surroundings, even find 3 things we like about this situation as hard as it might be.
How would we feel if we accepted that person in the office who really gets on our nerves?
We can’t change people, but we do have the power to adapt our lens and protect our own energy.
What if we tried to find 3 things we liked about them, or three things we can understand about them.
How would we feel if we accepted any possible obstacle or set back as a little challenge of how we respond to it, rather than react to it?
How would we feel if we really accepted our feelings or emotions in a specific environment instead of ignoring them, maybe at work, at home or elsewhere and we truly accepted that this situation is happening and it’s out of our hands.
When we try to change people, ignore things that need to be addressed, or try to control certain situations, we suffer in pain more and we can even become bitter, resentful, angry and sad.
When we accept things as how they should be, we let go of expectations.
When we accept the way people are and how they respond to us, we free ourselves from frustration.
When we accept that life is the way it is, we eventually feel that calm feeling and weight lift of our shoulders completely.
Let’s try a test.
Here’s an affirmation we can repeat in our minds:
‘’I accept the things and people I cannot change; It is what it is, they are who they are, I release and let go of control and I go with the flow’’
Let’s look around at our lives and find 3 things we love and are grateful for, 3 hard things or people to accept, or 3 things you understand about them.
Let’s observe what we really have in our lives, what are the things and people who matter?
Look for the happiness that we might have forgotten about that’s been there the whole time.
Where is it? What or who is it? How does it feel?
This exercise might bring up some emotions which are very healthy to feel. Maybe frustration, resentment, grief, anger, or sadness. It’s ok and very healthy to fully feel these emotions and then release them through journaling or talking to a friend or family member about them.
Try some self-care activities to help too, such as a nice bath, a walk in nature, a massage, listen to your favorite music, have some alone time, pamper yourself, journal your thoughts or call a friend.
Please reach out to me if you need some guidance or any more tips related to the above.
Take care and stay safe 😊
''Acceptance looks like a passive state, but in reality it brings something entirely new into this world. That peace, a subtle energy vibration, is consciousness''
If you’re a person who’s into reading or listening to audio books.
The Power of Now- is a fantastic book that I've read which might help you with mindfulness.
''Eckhart Tolle writes about a path to liberation from the suffering caused by the mind's identification with the past and future. By focusing on the present moment, Tolle guides us towards awakening to your true nature, inner peace, and spiritual enlightenment. Through a thought-provoking question and answer format, journey with Tolle as he helps you understand the true nature of reality, the mind, and the path to transcending the ego''
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